A Lot Going On

• There has been a lot going on here. The Byrnes took me to Lusaka last weekend, and we had fun there. It's a city of 2 million and very few traffic lights. The malls are very American and so is the food. We went to the Agricultural Show, where every country in Africa brings things to sell. I got a purse from Nigeria among other things. It was an experience bartering for a price and having every seller run to me because I'm white. It's very strange to stick out so much. (Ok, more than normal). The four-hour ride there was marked with many smells. We had a dog in the back to give to a pastor there. Let's just say, the windows were rolled down a lot. It was a good trip, and it was interesting to see the big city of Zambia.
• We had a Bible Club this week out at the church. I taught the Bible story and helped out. I discovered I have no great desire to teach. I enjoy teaching children that I know in my church, but this just scared me. I did a lot of praying and studying. Andrea became my practice dummy and that helped. I learned how to teach long enough, and by the end I felt pretty confident. I appreciate your prayers; they have been a great comfort to me through everything. I know that God was in the lessons.
• I wish I was better at explaining what God has done for me this past month. He put me in a place completely out of my comfort zone with people that I wouldn't normally be around so that I had to rely on Him. Everyone always talks about God "being your best friend," but I always thought that was a little off. Who actually runs to God when you could run to a person? I never did, and here I had to do that. God had to be my closest friend because He was the only option, and He is the best thing that will ever happen to me. He is teaching me so much through experiences, people, and good books. (I highly recoment Humility:True Greatness by C. J. Mahaney. It changed my entire view on the subject). I've learned the value of talking to myself instead of listening. Every time I get discouraged or homesick, I think about all God did to get me here and all the people that are praying for me. It has helped me have a good attitude about every little thing that happened. I miss home, but it doesn't make me sick. I want things, but it doesn't overwhelm me. Do you know what I mean?
• Please continue to pray for the Byrne's. They're going through a lot, but I know that God has something great for them at the end of it. I feel bad leaving them, and I wish I could always be here to help them. Please pray for them.
• I will be home in ONE week. Wierd, huh? It feels like this has been my whole life, and the world of TV, Internet, and fast food was a dream. It feels like Philadelphia was just a place I used to live. Don't get me wrong, I miss it. I can't wait to worship with Bethel, laugh with Jess, Brenda, Amanda, Jeanette, and Gabby, do crazy things with my youth group, fight with Doug over who does the dishes, and talk theology and life with Mom and Dad. (Don't tell anyone, but I also can't wait to get back to my school. I can't wait to see all of my friends there and get involved in things at school again. ; )) It feels like time has slowed down as I wait. Sometimes I think that the dream will never become real, that this is it. Then I get an email from my mom, and I know that home isn't all that far away. Wow. Home.

'ello

Blog Entry–7/30/07

• I don't know where to start in updating you. Many things are happening here, and I want to resist the urge to talk about me and the events surrounding me. I want to talk about God and all the amazing things He's teaching me. I wish I could give you a part of the things I've been learning.

• I've always believed that faith isn't a feeling. It's a choice. You can feel “spiritual” (“godly,” “faithful”), but that doesn't mean you are. When I feel like catching the first flight back to America, getting annoyed with an 11-year-old, or feeling sorry for myself because I miss my family, my belief in God either becomes real or it doesn't.

• I was homesick one night, so what did I do? I started to watch a movie on the computer. I was hurting, and I ran to a movie. Good job, Darla. I realized this as I was putting the movie in, and I was ashamed. I have the God who created the universe as my father and best friend, and I wanted to to watch a movie. That night I put the movie away, and spent time with the one Person who could comfort me. I started reading through Psalms again. (FYI: That is a great book--whenever you're depressed or overwhelmed--this book is better than chocolate). There are so many promises to the righteous, comforts to those who run to Him, and praises to a God that is more than enough. "The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you (Psalm 9:9-10)"

• I began to see the battle I was fighting. I had to make a choice about what was important to me. This past year I put a lot of things above God. I was beginning to wonder if this whole thing is true. I kept these thoughts to myself, but I was always thinking, “What’s the point? How can I know this is true? What if this is all for nothing?” That's what happens when God isn't first in my heart. Psalm 13- "How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, 'I have prevailed over him,' lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me." I think that says it all.

• I'm still homesick sometimes (especially at dinner--not because of food, but because that's when I'm always with my family), but I realize that this time will pass quickly enough. I want to make the best of the time here.

• It is cold here! This is their winter and at night I have to sleep with 4 blankets, 3 shirts, and several pairs of socks. During the day it warms up outside, but the (concrete) houses stay cold. I'm trying to work on a tan, but it's difficult.

• I have had some interesting experiences. At youth group I'm the only one who speaks English. I got invited to a guy's birthday party (it was fun), and taught my first lesson in Children’s Church. It's hard to teach stories because the kids don't answer. Evelyn told me it's because I'm white. I want to get them involved, but with an interpreter, that's not easy.

• Those of you who know my scarring experience as a child will find this funny. My name is now Dora. That's what everyone here calls me. I figure it's not worth taking ten minutes with every person trying to get the correct pronunciation. Some of the other missionaries thought it was funny and started calling me that too. I figure I might as well accept it.

• I'm also learning how to drive! There are some funny stories about that. Andrea thinks I'm a fun driver, though, and Mrs. Byrne said that I did excellent my first time. (Stick shift is challenging). I'm always kidding around with their co-worker, Susie. When I was joking around and asked to drive the first time, she said, "Do you see anything on my forehead? Last I checked I didn't have S-T-U-P-I-D written up there. Do you see that?" I just asked if she really wanted to know. Ever since then, whenever she teases me about something, I just say, “Me?! You're the one who's got STUPID written on your forehead!” (She has let me drive her car).

• The stars here are breathtaking. There are thousands of them, and you can even see the Milky Way. I've never seen stars like this. At night, the light from them makes it so that you don't even need a flashlight. The sunsets here are also beautiful. There aren't as many colors as some I've seen, but they just seem . . . real. They are simple and awesome. I can't wait to show pictures. "LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth. When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings, and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet, all sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea, whatever passes along the paths of the sea. O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!"

• Thank you for your prayers, and I trust they will continue. I miss all of you, and I can't wait to be back home. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the task God has set before me. I thank Him for all of you every day.